Hello friends :)
If you’re here, thank you for popping by without any notifications from Facebook or Twitter! (And if you’re here because you subscribed I love you too)
These two weeks crept by almost painfully – it is strange how quickly time flies when you look back at the events which happened, but at that point, each day felt like a gruelling process.
Wanted to update my blog last week and thank god I didn’t publish the post ultimately because I really just sounded like an annoying little screechy child!
Have been lacking motivation to do anything proper at all and it feels really awful to have no drive, if you know what I mean?
And the feeling of annoyance just gets amplified by terrible things – people and events alike. Even though these matters are extremely petty and trivial, it’s hard to get a hang of your emotions when they are already all over the place.
I believe I discovered the main factor causing these depressing weeks and I’ve never felt so inadequate before! The environment is pretty harsh on its own, and it’s not helping to have the very in-charge being nonchalant and unbelievably hostile. I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s really not for me – I’d rather spend the time doing something I enjoy and not leave feeling utterly dejected. To be honest, the content itself is pretty interesting and I haven’t been putting my best effort (refer to point on having no drive) but this is too much for me to handle on a weekly basis. If you know me, it’ll be clear to you what I’m talking about. Hahaha I am Captain Obvious.
Have I already mentioned my insane mood swings? There are times when I am incredibly happy, then I go straight to being an ass to people I love. Thank you for tolerating me (though all of you really don’t HAHAHAH) and loving me, beastly or not.
I don’t think there’s much to do now, except to rediscover the enthusiastic me and to deal with difficult situations until I come to a consensus with myself. It sucks to be battling yourself in your head and I hope this shouting in my head will stop soon.
Life isn’t always about being happy, and that’s the tricky bit.
One tactic I think I can adopt is to smile more – it really works? Gone are the days I played cards (haven’t touched a deck this year, no kidding) but when I’m on a losing streak, and I start to smile, luck comes. So please smile back at me if you see me smiling.
Really appreciate you for being here, whether or not you choose to show yourself, but I hope the upcoming week will be better for you and me.
If you’ve been contented and happy, it’s really good to know :)
If you’re not, remember there’s me moping around with you, and it’s high time to get our shit together.
Not literally, that would be really disturbing.
Goal for Week 5: Smile through the week and see how things go.
Will update you guys if the tactic works!
Love you :)