Fluffy Dandy Twinkle Puff

Do you know how I got that title? HAHAHAHA I googled “cute words”, and it came out, and I liked it a fair bit, so here it goes.

Happy First June! I hope everything’s going well on your side :)

My sister recently downloaded an application called 365 Dreamdays and basically if you haven’t heard of it, it’s like a countdown application la. And since we only have the lite version, we can only put in 5 different occasions to countdown for.

19 days to seeing Jie in HK, 28 days to Block Test 2 and 154 days to As.

Yeah… seeing the numbers in front of me really make a difference and I hope it snaps you awake also la! As in it didn’t feel so close you know?

The past few weeks haven’t been the brightest of weeks, because with a sleep deficit comes angst and when people aren’t trying to be the sweetest, angst multiplies. Like it spreads and it can get overwhelming, but I’m keeping it down….. to the best of my abilities.

Besides trying to keep the inner Hulk in me tamed and quiet, I’ve also been through quite a few things that made me really, really happy!

1. Jung Yong Hwa’s concert

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IMG_0090.JPG^ Random photo taken by FBN, thank you for helping me take videos while snapping photos simultaneously (not tough, but that was thoughtful)

Momma wanted to surprise me with the tickets but she leaked it out accidentally one fine day (<- HAHA great use of words), but still really thankful for you Ma. Thoroughly enjoyed myself for that 3 hours and we ate at the Central Cafe – it used to be in Taka and Parkway Parade, but it died. Then it revived and the food tastes pretty dayum great – went to Star Vista by the way! I will, however, advise you against the Chicken Chop Baked Rice because it is not the most amazing of baked rice(s) you will ever get to eat.

Also, I am not into Kpop or any kind of music at all – I think I like those that sound good. No matter what language. No matter what genre. No matter what singer. HAHAHA

2. Out-vestitures

Okay la, technically Interact Investiture didn’t make me feel over the moon, since it’s a full-stop to my CCA journey in Hwa Chong, but I really had a great time throughout the investiture and I laughed a lot… HAHAHA.

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IG3, missing Shu Wei :(

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IG3, with Shu Wei!! One fine morning HAHA

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30th EXCO, really really a great bunch of people

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HAHA irrelevant but this was from Council’s Investiture and I guess it’s safe to say that we’ve both stepped down and the focus should be shifted to more important things? Dont know whether to tell you to learn to be upset and care more, or to tell you to continue living your $w@g life ya.

3. Went for Huang Cheng
^ to support JY, and I’ve gone with the batch once in Sec 4 (didn’t go last year’s though) and the previous 2 years because my sister was once from Huang Cheng, and I had a great time with K and JM, talking about irrelevant things and JM’s cushions (I am so sorry JM, nobody will get this except K HAHAHA).

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SL was there too!! (Ok lousy attempt but B- for effort) Ok I think I deserve E for effort, but it was a fine crop, though SL looks overdressed. HAHAHAHAHA

I think being at Huang Cheng really made me (Batch13) miss being on stage? Really miss the whole experience of being with a bunch of people I love and working hard together for a final product. All the feeeeeeeeeeeels.

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Found this on Facebook, fat arms don’t care HAHAHA.

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Sian I miss TCN :( Everybody has something going on with their face it is quite cool

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This is terrifying if you zoom in on me, but on the whole, it’s not too bad.

Basically I just really, really, really, really miss being in Nanyang and TCN – so if you are still in NY, you won’t know what you’ve got till you’re gone. But then again, everybody has different experiences unique to themselves so maybe you’ll have a greater time in JC and beyond AIYA just cherish the time you have in NY! No regrets!!

IMG_9473.JPGHad a catch-up session the week before with these sweet kids – Thursday on ah. I have no more PE at high school, so life’s great. Lian/Becca please don’t have PE at high school!! Do timetables change by the way? Oh my god they do right. Oh dear.

By the way I think Table Tennis is quite fun though I really suck at it so bad – considering I only started playing 5 weeks ago not too bad la? YES I have never played table tennis from Pri 1 to J1 please don’t judge me.


Actually today’s post really came because I was feeling very strongly about 2 things, haha! I don’t even know how to categorise them nicely under a header, but okay, trivial things first (they’re both trivial, just one more than the other):

1 – The Tortoise and the Hare

Don’t you dare roll your eyes. Pretty damn sure you’ve heard of this over-rated folktale (gui1 tu4 sai4 pao3), and I think there are two main different morals of the stories.

a) Slow and steady wins the race <– much more popular version
b) Complacency is bad <– to be phrased in a more sophisticated manner

And the other day in class, I told M I’m going to blog about this (get off your email and come to my blog site) and here I am!

I feel that too much attention has been given to the tortoise – it seems like its the main character of the story, but really, it’s not. The attention should be given to the frigging rabbit – if he hadn’t taken a nap (how many versions are there?) under a tree, the tortoise wouldn’t have won, no matter how slow and steady he is, I feel. Do you get me? The focus of the story should be shifted from the slow and steady tortoise TO the proud rabbit who thinks sh!t is under control, when it’s really not.

Why do I feel so much for this? I have no idea, but don’t you agree with me? Like seriously, the spotlight should be given to the lazy rabbit napping under the tree, rather than the tortoise strolling with pride and dignity. It’s more of a, you don’t want to end up like the rabbit, rather than a look at how great the tortoise is kinda story — I mean of course, bravery and fortitude enabled the tortoise to participate in the match without fear, but if you calculate the odds, the winner will defo be the rabbit.

Therefore, we should all be inspired by the story and become a healthy, bright, energetic rabbit. Case closed.

Take a vote below what’s your take: (if you don’t give a sh!t, I’ll assume you’re the rabbit, because it feels like it)

I feel that all of you will choose the tortoise one to go against me, but no fear. I have no fear. By the way, if you’re wondering why cannot choose both – because examination scripts from primary schools have multiple choice when they ask “What is the moral of the story?” You can only select A, B, C or D. Actually does it still work like that?

You can only select more than one answer if you’re doing Chemistry MCQ, where:
A – 1, 2 and 3 correct
B – 1, 2 correct
C – 2, 3 correct
D – Only 1 correct

Sorry. That was irrelevant, but I memorised it. It’s not very difficult, but I did it.

2 – The Fear of Confrontation 

I tried to google the name for such a phobia, but nothing came out. The most interesting thing I picked up from the list was Geniophobia- fear of chins. I recently found interest in chubby chins. Hahaha I am sorry, that is very perverse and brings back terrible GCP memories from our favourite LG, but yes. I will not carry on before you judge me.

Anyway!!! Just wanted to share with you briefly my take on some opinions? My opinions don’t matter, but I’d just share them with you, since you’re already here.

Always have to go through this pathetic way of expressing myself here, because I don’t like to argue with people in real life, because it gets this adrenaline pumping through and my heart beats like mad. I think I quarrelled with JY over coins, and SL over shoelaces or something (do you remember? it was backstage) and more random people over the past 18 years of my existence, but I try to avoid it as much as possible. That’s why I am here! Because even if I’m talking about YOU you, you can’t be sure, so you won’t confront me and I’ll just leave it as it is. And people who usually ask me aren’t the ones I’m referring to, so at the end of the day, it’s a win-win situation – I get to rant and nobody gets affected… directly.

I AM SO SORRY this is coming out so scary, maybe because its 1230 as I’m typing this all alone upstairs but yeah.

You know sometimes, when you put in effort to keep something going, but nobody seems to care? That sucks. A lot.

But what if others are putting in as much (or more) effort than you really are, and you just can’t seem to see it?

Self-victimisation is a very powerful tool, and I use it a lot.

*By the way, I don’t mean it in the psychological disorder way, ok. I mean it in a when-people-do-it-to-make-themselves-more-pathetic-than-they-really-are way intentionally.

“I didn’t eat in school at all and I am so, so hungry, but Mummy told me to buy her satay and I only have $2 left, so I cannot eat, because Mummy needs satay to survive and I am her beacon of hope.”

“It’s okay, nobody does work at all, I’m just all alone in this, rushing proposals after proposals.”

“Jie didn’t text me, but it’s okay, maybe I’m just not interesting enough for her to love me enough to snapchat me a goodnight, maybe I’m just undeserving of her love because of how bad I am.”

^ I DO NOT SAY ANY OF THE ABOVE AT ALL.

They are really exaggerations la hahaha I am not that gross yet, but you get the idea? I think most humans crave attention and love, so sometimes, it’s necessary to do so by making yourself sound as sad as possible. I use that on my momma a lot and she falls for it more often than she thinks she does. ;)

That being said, sometimes it gets overboard, and it gets so annoying. People don’t often realise that such behaviour may lead to repercussions and consequences to others, and gossip spreads. In the above, I’m making my mum sound like a slave-driver, making my group mates sound like terrible people, making my sister sounds aloof and uncaring, can you see that? There’s always this judgement that automatically forms about others you’re talking about. And it’s more often bad than good, because you’re in control of the perception formed. This is so sneaky.

I think I’m going round and round in circles and you are probably not that engaged, because maybe my thoughts only make sense to me? Sometimes it happens. Like when I read through my older posts and I wonder to myself what the heck I was thinking when I wrote that portion, because I can’t even understand it myself anymore.

I just hope that maybe this hate and animosity will fade, and talking things out will only change things for the better. It’s terrible to see this endless angst radiating off your cheery disposition and even though I don’t have the right to judge or make comments, I hope this will end soon because it’s so damn tiring. Doesn’t it draw too much energy from you to maintain this level of anger?

All it takes could be a “Hi, I hate you because ________. What do u think?”

 

Learnt that from my momma, because after she scolds me for a list of terrible things (she thinks) I did, she’ll wait for me to reply to her and tell her if it’s the truth. Then I’ll tell her my perspective and she really won’t listen to me and continue listing some more things. But I still love you Momma, yes I mean it, don’t say you want to puke. When I say those three words to you, I really, really mean it yes?

*Remember the post I published about how people say I love you without meaning it too much? HAHA oh well I guess I’m guilty of it sometimes but yes, I make a conscious effort to say it only when I truly mean it ok. I do not go around littering “I love you”s to strangers by the way. I really don’t.

Don’t be afraid to confront people when need be.

I’m trying to learn that right now, before things pile up and get ugly.

HAHA YY are you reading this? Need your love and encouragement.

Okay, I think that’s it for today’s post. Really incoherent, but just wanted to keep you in the loop and let you know I’m well and alive. Remember the days I listed above ah.

Someone told me recently, “It’s good you’re not feeling stressed, keep it up!” – I think she doesn’t know that I don’t have my sh!t together yet so it’s not that great.

Good night everybody, it’s now almost 1am.

I hope the June holidays will be a fruitful one for you and me, and let’s take it on together?

See you soon.

It’s a ranty ranty post, but I feel better now. Didn’t proofread so hope you weren’t too appalled :D

The last time I used “:D” was eons ago. Oh my god.

P.S. Is the font colour making it difficult to read?

P.P.S. Is my blog taking too long to load?

P.P.P.S. Jiayou friends for the exciting week ahead, we’re all having our own wars to fight BUT WE’LL MAKE IT yes we will